Do not try this at home

Our lavender oil is painstakingly produced in our lab under time tested rules. Here's how:

1. Bring in harvest of top quality lavender flowers.

2. Build still. This is absurdly expensive, so better not.

3. [Very important] Train and employ smart woman. Centuries of experience have made it apparent to the French that it is no use at all getting a man to do this, as in so many other areas. (Men are generally too slow to be involved in anything as ethereal as lavender.) In our case, it is our friend Midge, who worked for us for some years, and comes back at harvest time.

4. Load retort with harvested lavender flowers.

5. The still pushes pressurized steam through the lavender.

6. The steam, containing the lavender essential oil, cools to a liquid in the condenser. 7. The separator divides the oil from the lavender water, but occasionally a little careful assistance may be required.

Any clearer? No? Well, what do you expect from one who flunked at chemistry, biology, physics and more...