We read with some puzzlement that we have beaten all comers in a “celebrity” wine competition in “Wine & Spirit” magazine (UK).

We are mystified to be in this league at all, since we’ve never imagined the Proprietor as anything other than a non entity, and a dull one at that!

We have applied science to the conundrum, and asked the serious questions:

1. Has the Proprietor been photographed with Paris Hilton?

Answer: No

2. Has he been to rehab recently?

Answer: Not yet!

3. Are the magazines worried about his weigh loss/gain ?

Answer: They’ve never heard of him!

4. Does he belong to a cult?

Answer: No. Not yet…although it could explain some things…

5. Do his fans fain on sighting the great man?

Answer: He has no fans.

A simple yes to any of these could have put him within sight of celebrity, but it was not to be.

Still a good result. For the record Ian Botham and Bob Willis, BMW – 2nd, Gerard Depardieu’s Chateau Frombaugo Blanc 3rd, Francis Ford Coppola – 4th…

See the full article here: www.yorkshiretoday.co.uk