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Top Ten Tunes

Jonny Coyne


Ladies and Gentlemen! Are you ready to rock? You what? I said are you READY...?

Terry, turn up this bloody PA, the punters won't shut up. Good, thanks mate, yeah better. LET ME HEAR YOU ARE YOU READY TO ROCCCKKK??? Oh, geeze, sorry Mrs Guthrie, are those your eardrums that appear to be, well, bleeding? Terry, you prat...yes, your fault...

Ladies and Gents, my apologies, and let me introduce, right here on the Dayglo stage, the most loved actor from that landmark series Alcatraz, our very own Mr Jonny Coyne! Stand up Jonny! Oh you already are, sorry old boy... Here he is, shorter than some actors, but taller than others ... all the way from a part of Norf Landon that we've never heard of, and have no intention of ever visiting ... Jonny is at the same time both British and a good Greek boy. He has had a long and distinguished career in the Theatre, and has the vowels to prove it, and has done masses of good work on the telly (Sharpes War, The Bill et al) and various movies (Irina Palme, Lara Croft Tomb Thingy etc.)- look at his damned IMDb page because he wants you to...and so on. Which should put to rest once and for all, those unkind rumours that Jonny was somehow responsible for the eventual collapse of the Greek economy, and potentially Europe's as well. Look it's just too easy to pin all the bad stuff that's going down on Jonny really he's only to blame for some of it. And his absolute excellence in Alcatraz as the dastardly Warden James should, in some measure, make up for it. Here he is, one hell of a fine actor, one very available single man (ladies, no rush please), a man of considerable wit and dubious personal habits, good company and bad he is, Cyprus' answer to Brad Pitt ... Give it up, if you please, for the immaculate, the hip, the hop, the rockin'... a big hand for groooveee ... Mr JONNY COYNE!

Here they are. A lifetime spent buying albums that I only played once has convinced me that I am just not Rock 'n' Roll. Thank god for the iPod and the current trend towards "guilty pleasures." It might just make me seem cool. Not eclectic, just confused.

  1. Theme from Department S - Cyril Stapleton

    Probably the best TV theme tune ever for the worst possible show! The screaming string section evokes an excitement that the series never got close to. And check out Jason Kings outfits. Best dressed man on TV for years!!! Ouch.

  2. Theme from Thunderbirds - Barry Gray

    I wanted to be Scott Tracy. Imagine a little boy (Lets call him Renos) sitting up on Saturday morning to the 'Supermarionation' of Gerry Anderson's Thunderbirds, enthralled at the technology that he knew one day would be possible. Play this anytime and you will be happy for the whole day. I often put it on after a few hours on a long drive and I am good to go.

  3. Cucurrucucu Paloma - Caetano Veloso

    I defy anyone to not shed a little tear at the sheer beauty of his voice! This version only however, though there have been many. But interpretation is everything. This version by Luis Miguel is horrible but very entertaining.

  4. Oblivion - Astor Piazzola's masterpiece

    Guaranteed to make you fall in love with your partner, even if it's only for the three minutes duration of the tune. It's what we old Tangueros believe happens with each dance. Sad bunch. PS. All versions work!

  5. Harvest Moon - Neil Young.

    It just makes me happy.

  6. I Saw the Light - Tod Rudgrens

    I have played this song more than any other in the history of me! I don't know what hold it has over me but I have never tired of it. It is, unfortunately, as rock and roll as I get.

  7. The Nutcracker, Waltz of the Flower - s - Peter Tchaikovsky

    It does have "box set classics" written all over it, but, again, it makes me happy. It's also an attempt at making me seem sophisticated.

  8. Hungarian Dance 5 - Johanes Brahms.

    Particularly this version. Exciting, funny and thoroughly satisfying.

  9. Il Postino - The theme from - Luis Enr

    And yet I have never seen the film! I promise that by the time this is posted, I will see it and re-write.

Thank you Jonny for a splendid guest DJ spot, and come back to the Dayglo any time mate. Oh wait, you're here most nights of the week anyway. Word of advice if you bump into Jonny on the floor, feel free to compliment him on that tailor made, hand detailed, fits-like-a-glove, cashmere suit! He will love you for it. And I can tell you what it cost...

Anyway, we love him in jail, we love him at Two Paddocks, we love him everywhere ... the old nutbag. Big cheers for a very good friend -- the one and only MR JONNY COYNE!

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