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Some Provisional Club Guidelines

1. It will not be this kind of club 

But dancing is encouraged anyway. Particularly in the orchard.

2. There will be no dress code

But you may dress in Morning Suits if you wish.
Jandals optional, but frowned upon.

3. There will be no Reading Room as such.


But we plan to build one by 2042.

4. The main rule will be as follows :  This is a club with NO rules.

5. With this exception -  The Prop will be President for Life.
He should be addressed as El Presidente at formal occasions.

 

 6. Club Greeting

There will be a secret code word between members  [a little like the Freemason's Handshake]
You will know other members wherever you are in the world when they utter the following Top Secret Word
“ CHEERS ! “

IMPORTANT -
Now you know the secret code – destroy this information immediately

A dirty weekend and its consequences.

So, our worst fears have been this week confirmed.

Imogen Poots, our comely saddleback sow, has given birth to four piglets to THE WRONG FATHER.

Once a year Poots goes down the road for a few weeks' romantic tryst with our neighbour's saddleback boar. She has had 20 little piggies, ten at a time, over the last two years to this handsome chap. Good breeding and all that.

Before she goes away, we keep her carefully separate from our resident Bad Boy, Kunikuni boar Angelica. (He is not to be confused with Angelica Huston, who is of course a sheep.) They are at least three paddocks distant and out of sight of one another for the time being.

Naughty Poots giving Big Bad Boy the eye.

However four months ago, we were all away for one night only, and when Mike returned he found that BOTH Poots and Angelica had broken out of their respective fields and had had a couple of days free range around the farm. Two days free love you might say. And this only a day or two before she was due to go to her usual stud.

Hoping for the best -- that perhaps Bad Boy hadn't had his way effectively with Bad Girl Poots -- we took her down the road for her annual Club Med holiday. On her return, she was clearly in the family way, and we crossed fingers that Stud Pig had won the day and prevailed.

Alas, it was not to be. Imogen gave birth to four only half-Saddleback/half-Kuniknui piglets this week.

This little piggy has distinctive indicators -- a gingery hue and wattles below his chin -- that mark him unmistakably as Angelica's offspring.

The Prop is ropeable and has given Angelica notice -- no more piglets buddy. That's it. Enough. You have been warned. BAD pig, etc.

One, at least, of these little fellahs has its admirers. The Prop is not one of them.

Vintage update

We called in to The Central Otago Wine Co Ltd the other day to check on things and get updates and samples of vintage 2016.

Honestly it took hours, and the Proprietor was more befuddled than usual by matters arising. You'd be bored rigid, so let's not go there.* Suffice it to say, looks like a cracker all round.

Instead, here's a shot of the C.O.W.C.O. Team sporting their Two Paddocks 2016 vintage t-shirt outside the barrel room. And boy don't they look good?

Top left to right -- Phil, Tom, Adam Below -- Simon Below below left to right -- Brynn, Linda Below below below -- Dean

*This year we are making, by way of a trial, six barrels of 100% no-adds pinot from The Fuslier. So far so good ... watch this space.

Himself

Its always gratifying when the Proprietor returns from abroad and is flash mobbed by his animal friends, who have missed him more than they can say.

The ewes for instance, always rush up and ask for news. At least we think that's what they're are saying.

Angelica, the He-Pig is still his best friend, and sprints (yes, you heard that right) sprints up to the gate when the Prop appears. Nothing at all to do with the apple or two in the pocket. If you've never seen a pig sprint, you really should.

His other very close friend is Charlie Pickering the duck. On a warm day, the Prop and Charlie do swimming laps around the dam together. It's winter now, so there'll be none of that. But Charlie's always happy to sit down and chew the fat. Or in his case, chew the grass.

Angelica Huston and Susan Sarandon are curious as to whether the Prop has caught up with their namesakes lately.

13 September 2016

Something neither you nor we expected. Ever.

So our ever resourceful Jacqui Murphy, CEO of Two Paddocks, has turned her capable hands to soap making. From our organic produce off the farm. We thought she had her hands full enough as it is with the World's Most Important Business Job, but seemingly not.

In fact, Jacqui has made no less than three varieties of Two Paddocks soap this year.

Firstly, Two Paddocks Lavender and Olive Oil Soap, lovingly hand crafted with Two Paddocks organic lavender oil and our organic olive oil. De Luxe.

Secondly, Two Paddocks Lavender, Honey and Olive Oil Soap, again hand made with our organic lavender, lavender oil and organic Two Paddocks honey. Super De Luxe.

We particularly love this one... And Thirdly -- Two Paddocks Lavender, Olive Oil and Walnut Soap -- the darker soap, made with our lavender and olive oils and Duncan Forsythe's walnuts. Jacqui describes this as a more 'blokey' soap. We suspect this means it’s for removing industrial grime and it hurts. No one has been game enough to have tried it yet, so jury still out on this one.

Or Spring in die Paddocks to you

So, it's that time again, and lambs abound. Twins are bounding. It's a riot of springing twinning lambing unbounded.

And elsewhere, others have been busy as well.

For one thing Mike and Ruenelle have had twins. My goodness, we are prodigious here! Two lovely girls, and our heartiest congratulations to the Wings from us all.* The most gorgeous little things you ever saw.

And then, Helena Bonham Carter has had another calf, handsome little chap, named Graham Norton.

Graham with his Mum, Helena Bonham Carter

And here he is with his ruggedly handsome father Jimmy Nesbitt Jr.

A chip off the old block? Graham Norton and his father Jimmy Nesbitt Jr.

* Watch this space for more news about the Wing twins.

Ben Quilty. Painter, Activist.

Ladies and Gentlemen! After all these years at last some visible talent right here in the Dayglo Disco TM -- lovely fella and extraordinary artist and a man who LIVES for music.  We're lucky he’s here and ... yeah, go on, put them dancin' shoes – its PAAHHTTYY time with the art world's daggiest dag artist -- our friend and compadre ... MR BEN QUILTY!

So Saucisson...

Staff are even more hell bent on self-sufficiency, sustainability, haute cuisine, good chow, etc. than ever.

Last week, for a staff lunch, the boys made our first sausages.

Sam* and Bryn* on the job. Yum. Yumm...y. Yummish.

First off the cab rank were some Boerewors. A South African sausage that are (a bit) better than they look.

Boerewors. Not the world's most handsome sausage we grant you.

Next, some saucisson (not pictured, and a good thing, too) which we will enjoy in a couple of months after they have fermented and cured. Don't ask.

* See our updated (finally) staff section HERE for biographies of our current staff.

Oil Organic

Last year we pressed for the first time our own olive oil. With some pride. All the oil we had was from The Fusilier, all 12 litres of it. Delicious.

This year we also picked at Red Bank. Finally!  These trees were planted about 12 years ago, so a harvest a long time comin’, Lord.

Sarah hand picks olives at Red Bank. With a comb thing. Beats foot picking every time.

Then we took our crop; combined olives from The Fusilier, Bannockburn and Red Bank at Earnscleugh to the communal press. And ... er ... pressed our olives. (Is this sounding like Janet and John Make Olive Oil?)

The Village Press

To our surprise we only got another 12 litres of oil again this year. Mike thinks he might have over pruned at The Fusilier this season. Ah well.

What 12 litres of olive oil looks like.

Still as last year, top quality indeed. Much darker oil this year, probably due to greener varieties at Red Bank, and riper fruit after a very warm autumn. Lovely dark green organic olive oil, with rich soft vegetative notes on the palate, with some peppery spice. Bliss. But enough to supply a small Italian town for about 0.002 of a second. Precious.

Dark green mysterious oil.

Worm Wonderland

Are there no limits to our ingenuity? Are there no lengths to which we will not go to improve our soil? Is there any price too high that we will pay to make better compost? Are we barking mad? Is there a Higher Power to whom we devote every single waking moment to make better and better wine? Are we the non plus ultra of organics?

The answer to all the above is ... no. Lets say it again. No. There, we've said it. Except, however, with the last of those questions; the answer to which is ... well ... maybe. And the mad bit. That's also slightly a greyish area.

Be that as it may, you are probably asking yourself, what is going on here -- in the Compost Paddock? Mike (aka EverCleverTrevor) is this year employing on one of our compost heaps, old TP cardboard cartons as earthworm shelters. This enormously encourages these little beauties to flourish and work their wonders in the compost, then onto the soil, from t here to the soil in the vineyards, and ultimately of course to the vines themselves. To be technical for one cotton picking moment -- they produce beneficial microorganisms which lead to better soil health and fertility. Was that too dull? Yes probably.

The boxes are of course biodegradable, and of no more use to us. The question we ask ourselves is this. Did we drink all that wine ourseleves. From all those cases? Lets see now ... Yes. There. We've said it .

Vintage 2016 all in, all up, all great. (...if a little small).

Today, 26th April, we finished harvest, and everything is in the Winery. On 4th April we had our #1 taster, Caleb, closely examine our grapes.

 

An Inspector Calls

Two thumbs up from the expert, and on the 5th April we commenced picking at Red Bank. We were expecting 80 tonnes of Pinot, and some 10 tonnes of Riesling. In line with Central Otago in general, we were between 10% and 15% down on our projections. But while yields have been disappointing, the quality this year has in general been outstanding.

 

Pinot from The Fusilier

Spring this year was awkward -- considerable wind and some untoward frosts. This accounted for the low yields, particularly at The Fusilier. But summer and autumn were kind, albeit February was the only month without a frost event. Autumn was very clement -- all warm days and cool nights.

 

The Team at Gibbston.

This year we starred team members from France, the Czech Republic, Australia, the UK and of course NZ.

 

Gibbston

Because Gibbston is always a late starter, it missed some of the worst of the spring this year. And in fact may turn out to be the star of 2016. Mike says it’s the best fruit he has seen there in 10 years, and the Prop himself astonished at the intensity of flavours. Both the old Clone 5 and the newer 5 are incredible.

 

Red Bank

110 Riesling Red Bank. Very good all round, with 667, and the 777 pinots on the Top View and Hill Block looking particularly great. The Riesling also – good yield and quality, especially the 110.

 

The Fusilier.

Everyone's favourite pickers are back again this year, all the way from Sydney. They like to groove while they pick. The Fusilier. Probably 15% down in yields (wind), but the 115, 667 and even the 10/5 very good.

 

Bob's back. No, Bob's front.

Last Chance

Excellent, especially the 115 from the ridge, and the Gate Block very good this year too.

Last Day

The team celebrate with the last of the Riesling . The derelict Santa Claus type, front right, is in fact, The Prop.