Blog

The Age of Aquarius. Again.

Every few months we receive a visit from our friend, mentor and adviser, the Esteemed Wine Guru, Larry McKenna.

Larry, the founder of Martinborough Vineyards and then Escarpment Wines, is one of the true greats of NZ wine, and in particular, Pinot Noir. He acts as a sounding board for us, and as our source of sage advice on all manner of things, and has been doing so since the earliest days of Two Paddocks. We value his wisdom on viticulture, wine making, business, Pinot, the Meaning of Life and more.

Among other things, we looked at our 11s (now in bottle) and 12s (in barrels), and were elated to find them "stellar."* The Prop ecstatic, and Larry nodding in benign approval. Top job from Dean, Phil and Co at COWCO. (*Quoting The Prop here.)

And Larry just as smiley when looking at our three vineyards, which in spite of the efforts of Jack Frost, are looking damn fine – well done Mike and Co. Good karma all round. As they say in mystical circles -- OM.

I’m Too Sexy For My Tractor

This week we took delivery of a new piece of gear, a State-of-the-Art inter-vine mower. The Boys are beside themselves with excitement, and look forward to an even Greener Future in The Paddocks with this stunning beauty.

As with all new equipment, it will require the necessary statutory time for being fully stared at before deployment proper. Here Tom, Mike and Simon give it a good once over on arrival, but we calculate it needs another 15 man-hours of staring and tyre-kicking before being fully commissioned.

Groovy Gear, Man.

Shock Decisions

Yes, great relief floods the Paddocks, as the grisly business of Movember is at last over. The moustaches are gone, and life returns to normal.

Judging took place in the first week of December, and proved more straightforward than expected. Of course before all competition began, all contestants were put alongside the sheer luxurious magnificence of the Prop’s Mo (a non-entrant due to an early start), and, rather unfairly, were all of course rather overshadowed. Jenny and Lisa were appointed judges, with Jacqui as adjudicator. The finest ethical standards were observed at all times, and no correspondence will be entered into etc. The judges’ decision should be considered final. For now. Contestants were judged on length, fulsomeness and aesthetic qualities. [ 1056 ]

The contestants attempts could be fairly described as follows:

• Simon -- Good try, but disqualified himself by shaving absentmindedly before judging. Idiot.
• Tom -- New boy. Ineligible.
• Keith -- Non-starter. Hopeless.
• Mike -- Startling visual gag of a mo, with clearly ironic Hells Angels/Ho Chi Minh references. Should have lost mega points in the aesthetics area.
• Tim -- Good all rounder.
• The Prop -- Non-combatant, but clearly the gold standard.

In a surprise decision, and gasps were heard from the crowd, the nod went to Mike’s Mo.

Shock waves were felt around the vineyards, and rumours included money having changed hands, brown paper bags sighted at smoko and so on.

John Key, PM, in conjunction with David Cameron PM (UK) has announced a Parliamentary Inquiry. This will, as always, settle nothing, but Something will have been Seen to have been Done.

In the sprit of sportsmanship, for which our country is so justly renowned, the Loser (Tim) shook hands with the Winner (Mike).

Two Paddocks has made a monetary contribution to fighting Prostate Cancer on behalf of the winner.

The Prop: What’s in the Empty Canyons  of his Mind Right Now.

Songs that You Can’t Get Out of Your Head. In a Good Way.

Yes - the unfocused eyes, the slack jaw, the suggestion of a little dribble on the chin ... you could easily make the mistake of thinking there is absolutely nothing going on in The Prop’s vacant skull.

Not so. There is usually a great song in there somewhere. Echoing around those deserted chambers.

And here is a list of some of the best. They’ll unfocus your eyes too. Guaranteed. Press here for direct entry to the Dayglo Lounge.

23 November 2012

Spring brings new growth...

Yes, the vineyards are vibrant with new growth, the staff are flat out, the Prop will be home any day now, in other words it's all on.

The corollary to this, and the downside as far as the women of the region go, is that it means it's also Movember, and the boys are at it again, growing moustaches as fast as they can for charity – prostate cancer.

From left to right, with their chance of a win:

• Simon -- No new ground broken here, this is pretty much the all-year-round fungus, and that's probably as good as it gets. Outside chance, but could improve.
• Tim -- Doing alright. Well shaped, with reasonable growth rate. Could be a reasonable bet.
• Mike -- Top growth rate, but likely to lose points with the addition of the 70s metal/ Last Emperor extensions. Worth a punt if he takes some fashion advice.
• Keith -- As last year, simply desperate. Will be tested for HGH at the end of the month and likely for disqualification at that time. A poor bet.

In the meantime, they are doing all they can to get over the line again at the end of the month. Judges this year to be announced later.

The Freefencer Departs

Last week, Nathan packed his bags, and set off for the wide wide world. Puzzlingly, he has elected to leave the lavish comforts of bachelor TP life  in favour of married life in Greymouth, on the West Coast. And a new career in fencing.

As is the custom, we threw a commemorative lunch for Nathan at TPHQ. Nathan (at the rear of the table) made the longest speech in our long history of long speeches. Mike replied at length, followed by Jacqui at longer length, followed by just about everyone else at endless length, by which time it was time to go home.

But first it was time to cut Nathan adrift. Hardly hyperventilating at all, and with a few fond tears showing for his immense gratitude for all the good times, Nathan walked away bravely into the scary future. Note he is wearing (a gift from TP) his leather fencing apron. Which is not unlike a Freemason's apron, except for fencers. Maybe they have a Freefencers' Lodge in Greymouth, who knows?

Staff waved Nato farewell. More tears. And got back to the wine as soon as he was out of sight. We all wish Nato, and his bride, all the very best.

Sad to see a promising career in viticulture abandoned just like that and so soon. Secretly, however, we think that the glitzy, glamorous allure of the world of farm fencing will eventually wear thin, and Nathan plus Mrs will be back in the familiar world of the grape before too long, leaving the bright lights of Greymouth behind him.

Greymouth ....

We S---. You Not.

We have mentioned before that we are enthusiasts for matters Bio-Dynamic at Two Paddocks, and Mike in particular is gung-ho about this approach. He is the King of Compost. We go the hard yards to ensure healthy soils, healthy vines, and ultimately healthy wines.

We’ll spare you a lot of the photos of what we do in this regard: frankly they are not for the faint hearted. And it’s fairly technical too – the Prop gets a little heavy lidded when staff get too engrossed in the subject.

But here is a glimpse – mixing CPP (Cow Pat Pit) in the bath; made from fresh manure, egg shell flour and basalt rock dust (on the left).

And digging up our Preparation 500 (made from cow horns and cow manure) which we bury in the autumn, and dig up for use in the spring (on the right).

We could go on about Rudolf Steiner, full moons, the rhythms of.....zzzz....zzzz....gaaahh .... No!  No. I was just resting my eyes. Honest!

Two Paddocks in Northern Ireland

Well, who knew wine selling was such a serious business? Here the Prop is employing the hard sell in Belfast. Many thanks to The Ivory. Great night.

And Larks

For two far too brief weeks in the Spring, our lilac comes powerfully into flower, at about the same time the migratory birds are back in full force. The perfume is almost overpowering, the visuals psychedelic.

Mike took Greens Man Keith and Long Short Pants Man Tim to the Lilacery, for a brief photoshoot this week.

Keith stays in character throughout, showing considerable Botanical skills, well demonstrated for the camera.  His companion however, the one closely related to the Prop (see fig 2) was  unable to continue to stay serious. Oh well ...

Imogene Poots, Actor

Ladies, Gentlemen and Denizens of the Dayglo! Tonight a True Treasure of the British Cinema, spinning phonograph recordings for our collective pleasure! Make way, if you will, and a roof-lifting hand please, for the Utterly Delightful, .. Miss Imogen Poots>>>!

13 October 2012

The Bard of Vino – his  work.

Curtis Marsh, that splendid figure of the World of Wine, writes about ... us!

We yield to no one in being his greatest fans.

We think you might enjoy the article. Click here.