The Jam

Genius bottled

In response to cries of incredulity from one or two less than loyal friends re the Proprietor’s culinary skills, we present visual proof that jam making, at least,  is well within the realms of the possible for the old chancer. It should be remembered that the kind of competence that one had in the kitchen as a student, for example, does not condemn one forever to the ranks of The Hopeless.

Here the Ironic Chef himself, in the throes of a creative cooking fever, bottles a fresh and fruity jam of unparalleled  splendour.

This small batch is mixed red and black currant, and top notch it is too.

Tips for aspiring jam makers:

• Use small children as unpaid labour at picking time. This will reduce costs markedly, and give the little chisellers a taste of the life of hard and thankless graft they can look forward to.
• Give the same unpaid labourers the occasional day off. Get them fishing. This will put more food on the table, while fooling them into believing this is actually recreation.
• If you are following an actual jam recipe, use less sugar than they say, and simmer for longer.

A day off...