T.P. Holiday Party

Xmas party and end-of-year celebrations at Redbank went off relatively smoothly this year. Company caterer excelled as always. Proprietor again made excessively long speech – droning on about big year, much achieved, I remember during the war etc. Silenced by flying missiles, some hard.

Richard made shorter and better speech afterwards, but may have been encouraged to brevity by sight of Proprietor felled and bleeding.

Other highlights: Philippa in a skirt (until now only a rumour that she owned one); Brian’s annual attempt at resigning (something he always does after his second beer, but inevitably gives up after ugly threats to his property from senior management – Brian is, after all, indispensable); Karen’s chillingly accurate rendition of Frank Ifield’s immortal I Remember You; Kale’s proposal of marriage to Billy the Goat; Michelle’s double-time can-can, and so on.

A noticeable improvement in demeanour and behaviour was noted once staff progressed from lager to the more refined products of our own vineyards. Mark was kind enough to repeat his triumph from last year, "My favourite 25 Shakespearean soliloquies”’ as the bonfire dwindled towards midnight.

Amazingly our erudite staff know at least 18 of them word for word.

Next year Mike and Sue have promised to work up their highlights from Verdi and Puccini, a cappella naturally.

Other reports contradict the above. Indeed the T.P. Christmas do has always enjoyed a reputation for sobriety and good manners. Perhaps the truth lies somewhere in between?