Ram stiff
HQ reeling today having found our resident ram, YouGo Weaving, feet up, recently deceased, dead as a doornail, karked in a corner of the honeymoon paddock. There are no obvious reasons for his tragically early demise, and we are completely mystified. This was a young ram, 3 years old and in his prime. He was not overtaxed – 17 ewes is an undemanding workload for a chap who can be expected to keep up to 80 girls content. (The ram is the most prodigious male on the planet, in fact.) An inquiry, top level, has been launched.
The only immediate conclusion we can come to is that YouGo (ne Hamish, ne Hugo -- we always change spelling to avoid legal ramifications, so to speak, should their namesakes take exception and sue ... thus Jimmy Baahns , Mel Gibbston etc.) ... the only conclusion is that YouGo died heroically on the job.
There are no witnesses, and the ewes are keeping it to themselves. We see no obvious signs of grief. It’s possible they were not as fond of YouGo as we’d thought. At the same time, there is no evidence of foul play, and investigators are not looking elsewhere. It remains a mystery, and for now we can only assume he overstrained his system in the vigorous execution of his duties.
We salute you Brave Ram, and we would fly a flag at half mast if we owned one.
(We are not entirely sure if YouGo completed his mission, and a replacement has been sought. The ewes are holding a collective breath ... )
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