Baa Baa dies. Crew mourns.
We are a little devastated today; our old pal Baa Baa died last night.
What is worse, we think he was the victim of foul play. If not murder, sheepslaughter at best. And he lost his life at the hands, or hoofs anyway, of one of his own kind.
Following today’s Sheep Outrage, the Revolutionary Fence Jumping Outrage by George Gleegun, the sex-crazed bandit ram, the Proprietor found the aged Baa Baa tangled up in a fence, upside down and very distressed. A little detective work led us to conclude that the poor old boy had been bullied into a panic by the insanely jealous Gleegun, and had tried to escape by unwisely attempting to jump a fence. This was never going to work – Baa Baa was of pensionable age (about 7 , which is senior for a sheep). Any rivalry on Gleegun’s part would have been misplaced anyway as Baa Baa was a former ram, so to speak.
Anyway, the attack and its consequences killed Baa Baa, and we gave him an honourable burial in the back paddock, may he rest in peace. A fine old sheep, hand raised by children as an orphan, he was forever friendly and always happy to have a chat if you called his name. Loved having his head scratched. Unlike the brutish Gleegun, who will run you down, and break your leg if you give him a chance. We never turn our back on George.
The proprietor very glum today, and muttering threats about the Foul Fence-Jumper. Once he’s finished having his caddish way with his girlfriends, and our neighbours as well, we think it might be prudent to move George on. If anyone wants to buy a South Suffolk Psycho, they should get in touch.
R I P Baa Baa...
Sale of Liquor License Ref: OF129
Licence No. 67/OFF/30/2022
Expires 24th August 2025