Keith

Milestones and gallstones

Keith had a big birthday this week and the Premier Cru celebrated with club sandwiches, sponge cake, scones and cream and dainty pies.

Most of this was provided by the astounding Glenys, his long suffering wife, who excelled even herself despite a recent knee reconstruction. That woman is a saint.

As a result of the birthday bash, the Prop has put the boys back on hard labour, as there seem to be signs of a mild outbreak of obesity on the farm. Not only the pigs should be concerned about their waistlines.

The pigs, incidentally, have been told to hang their heads in shame at their blimp-like silhouettes, but this proved impossible with their big fat necks. They are looking more like hairy Zeppelins than your actual pigs these days. Mind you, like the blimps of old, it could be all air – or worse, gas. Not so much "Oh, the Humanity!," more "Oh, The Piggery!"