How to Shear a Sheep

In Nine Easy Steps

We continue our invaluable How-To series with a blow-by-blow illustrated manual on the arcane mysteries of sheep shearing, in nine very straight forward steps.

1. Muster your sheep into the yards.

No sheep will march willingly into sheep yards, so this is harder than it looks. It will help immeasurably if you have a dog, or at least a dog with half a brain. These are fairly rare. Failing that, use Keith.

Note: Keith can be rented at very reasonable rates for dog duties – apply to the proprietor – cash only thank you. And please, do not feed him.

2. Catch a sheep.

3. Commence shearing.

Oh, for Heaven’s sake, did you really think we’d tell you how, just like that? I mean, we are talking about years of experience, and study, and hard graft here. Do not ask again.

Instead, hire some shearers. They are experienced professionals. In our case, one shearer. (At present, We only have 19 ewes, and 1 ram.)

Chris averages 240 sheep per day. A day at Two Paddocks wrecks his averages.

4. Watch how it’s done.

Each sheep, even a big girl like this only takes a couple of minutes at most.

5. Be nice.

It is unkind to sheep to point and giggle if they look a little undignified without their wool. They are giving up a lot here, and thanks would be more in order.

A good shearer like Chris is able to keep the sheep relaxed  and seemingly quite content. And it is summer now after all – who needs a big woolly coat?

6. Stand by...

Almost done....

7. Finish with the rams.

George Glee Gun comes clean. A magnificent fleece on the old boy.

8.   Turn your shorn sheep out to pasture.

The shorn ewes don’t look much bigger than their lambs without the big coats.

9. Take your wool to market.

Resident animal husband and part-time dog, Keith shows us a good South Suffolk fleece.

So , that’s it . Pretty simple really . Good luck with your sheep.