The Goat, Billy

by Sam Neill

A handsome fellow, Billy (an original name for which we can only apologize) has served with loyalty and distinction for some years at Redbank. Billy, as is the wont of the goat, will eat pretty much anything and therefore is happy to demolish and consume entire gullys of brush, broom, gorse, weeds, willow, briar, you name it.

The risk, of course, with an omnivore, is that he could easily destroy half a vineyard if unchecked. For this reason, when in proximity to grapes, he is tethered on a long chain to his (moveable) house which in turn is pegged securely to terra firma.

Nevertheless there have been outbreaks (alarms and surprises), and more than once Billy has wrenched his house free, dragging it willy-nilly into the vineyard. Havoc and chaos and much vine destruction followed. This has strained the patience of some of us, but Billy has an endearing nature that lets him get away with crimes of extreme seriousness.

Sam Neill (left) and Billy perform the ritual goats dance.

Endearing, if a little eccentric. Billy prefers women to men, for instance, by a long chalk. Men, unless he knows them well, cannot come anywhere near Billy – the goat equivalent of a crash tackle will inevitably result. Women however can scratch his ears all day if they wish. (Preferring women to men… eccentric? On second thoughts, perhaps just sensible)

Also, Billy disdains a sheep. For this rather superior goat, the company of sheep is not to be tolerated, and he can hardly bear the sight of them, let alone share a paddock with them.

Funny. We thought they might have things in common.

Billy is by nature a natural performer, and enjoys a turn or two with the Proprietor when the latter has his tap shoes on. (see T.P. Blog 15 August 2007)

Billy was a big Rolling Stone fan, it is believed, until one day he chanced on an old “Goat’s Head Soup” L P cover. This he found to be in extremely poor taste. I agree; it wasn’t the Stones finest hour.