5 November 2007

How to Survive South Africa

In the spirit of public service, the Proprietor offers a few humble words of advice, having just wrapped Skin, and having been in South Africa four years in a row.

• Leave all preconceptions, prejudices, idée’s-fixes etc behind. South Africa will confound all of these and more. It is the most surprising country on earth — a place of miracles and optimism, despair and anger. Everything you thought about it will be turned on its head several times a day.
• Read as much as you can about its history and culture. And ask — everyone has a story.
• Do not fly British Airways.
• Ten years ago, many South African wines were unpalatable (Note: the Proprietor has probably never come across a wine that is actually undrinkable.) This is rapidly changing. As a rule of thumb, many S.A. Chardonnays and big reds are splendid. But avoid Sauvignons and Pinot Noirs; the savvys are often insipid and the pinots apparently a different grape altogether. The Proprietor recommends RAKA wines.
• Carry a bottle of Two Paddocks Lavender Essential Oil. Good for morale, scrapes, burns and for repelling mosquitos.
• Go see as much South African music as you can, and take it home with you. Perhaps the world’s most exciting music. Try Jonas Gwangwa, Busi Mhlongo, Bayete, Ringo, Thandiswa, and Simphewe Dana.
• South Africa sports some excellent and funny wine labels e.g. “The Chocolate Block,” “Goats do Roam” “Fat Bastard.” When offered another glass of the latter, check if the offerer has put a comma in the sentence. There is a wealth of difference between “More Fat Bastard?” and “More, fat bastard?” If the latter, do not hesitate to take offence and stern measures.
• Try to avoid being a victim of crime. If you are, in South Africa the consequences can be very dire. Exercise caution.
• Leave some money behind for those, particularly children, who suffer from AIDS and poverty.
• Consider yourself privileged to be in such a beautiful country, among some of the best people on earth (of all colours and language).

2 November 2007

Proprietor Employed

Reports in that the Proprietor has completed his fourth film for this year and without pausing for breath is plunging directly into his fifth. Playing a dog this time. To the manor…etc.

1 November 2007

Spring Sprung

Richard reports a frosty spring with the lowest temperature recorded at Redbank at - 3.5. However our frost fighting has been top notch, and very little loss if any. Bravo.

31 October 2007

How to Survive a World Cup

The Proprietor, unusually quiet, has apparently simultaneously attended the Rugby World Cup in France while shooting Skin in South Africa (with Sophie Okonedo, Alice Krige, and Tony Kgoroge).         

The old chancer sends back the following advice:

How to survive – and even enjoy – a World Cup

• Never, under any circumstances, fly British Airways. This once great airline has slid into terminal decline, and now sadly employs some who have forgotten how to spell, let alone recognize, the word “service”. If you have no choice but to fly B.A., do not be surprised if they leave you stranded at Heathrow (a hellhole) for 24 hours without so much as an apology. It will be your fault.
• Try to avoid supporting a side that actually likes to play rugby. If your national side likes to play open, exciting rugby, sadly they will be unlikely to make it beyond the quarterfinals. If, however, your national side (think England) prefers brutish, dull and mind-numbingly 10 man rugby then you’re in with a good chance.
• Avoid the World Cup altogether if you love Rugby. Unfortunately, what should be a showcase to the world of the world’s greatest sport, has become, rather like its soccer counterpart, a charade of crude tackling, meaningless kicking and defence at any cost. Possession has become a dirty world. This is sad, retrograde and for the spectator about as much fun as Disneyworld without the rides. Let us hope this is not the Death of Rugby!
• Find solace in good companionship, food, wine and laughter. France was a particularly good venue in this respect, and New Zealand will undoubtedly be a similar experience.
• Thanks here to P Hall, Tommy Evers-Swindell, Chris McVeigh, George and Erika Gregan and many others who are able to take defeat with a sporting heart and look forward with optimism.
  But also much gratitude for the hospitality and generosity of Moet and Chandon (for an unforgettable night at their splendid chateau), chateaux Pommard, La Roche, Meursault, and Louis Latour. When one gets to drink wines of such calibre – who needs crap rugby!
• Get yourself elected to the I.R.B. Change the rules. For example – reduce the drop goal to one point; work on the rucking rules etc. Free up the game, and encourage that seemingly old-fashioned concept – the try.
• For scrapes, insect bites, headaches, general malaise, minor burns – carry a bottle of Two Paddocks Lavender Essential Oil. Works a treat.
• Take the train. The world can learn much from French trains.
• Try and remember – it’s only a game! Oh well…. Okay… that’s too hard. Forget it.
• Avoid British Airways.
• Book ahead for New Zealand. It can only be better than the last. And you will find Two Paddocks at most good restaurants – reason enough.
• Congratulate the Springboks. Their great achievement this year was to choke “Swing Low.” (Note to England supporters – American spirituals are best left to those across the pond. You just can’t sing.)

22 October 2007

Two Paddocks Truck Adventure

We reprint the following missive from our resident adventurer, Brian Croot – truck pilot:

Hello Sam,

Mavoura and I thoroughly enjoyed the truck rally in Invercargill at Labor Weekend, and we would like to thank you for letting us take you Chev. The rally was a wonderful tribute to Bill Richardson and a fitting memorial. There were 240 trucks entered, with many from the North Island as far as Hamilton, Rotorua. Most of these came in a  convoy through Nelson and the west Coast to Invercargill. 40 Truck enthusiasts from Australia also attended, making the numbers at the Sunday evening dinner over 400! Tim Shadbolt was the guest speaker and gave his usual promotion of Southland with much hilarity.

The extension to the truck museum was opened on Friday evening with drinks and supper and a tour of the museum. On Saturday we assembled at Southern Transport yard and set off on a tour of Southland, had a bbq lunch at Thornbury Vintage Machinery Museum then out to Oreti Park near Oreti Beach where all the trucks were parked in groups by make, and photographed. On Sunday morning all the trucks were parked on the three street’s which surround the museum and photos were taken from a very high crane. At 1pm the street parade began and the 240 trucks were joined by modern counterparts to make a 316 truck spectacle, and the dinner at Ascot Park Hotel brought the weekend to a close.

Two Paddocks was the only 1947 Chevrolet at the rally and we received many admiring and congratulatory comments about the appearance and standard of restoration. The Chev performed impeccably to and from Invercargill and throughout the rally.

Brian

Bill Richardson Truck Museum,
39 Inglewood Rd, Invercargill

Arguably, the largest private collection of its type in the world. Vehicles ranging from 1911 to 2003, there are over 170 trucks representing some 50 manufacturers.

Museum open by appointment.

15 September 2007

Two Paddocks Ski Triumph

Left to right: Jane Skinner, Jon Wardrop, Maio Fuchs (Austrian), Felicity Oxnevad, Deanie Johnstone and Val Miller (in front)

At Coronet Peak, our team have again prevailed for the second year in a row.

Management are quick to deny the obvious inference the Two Paddocks Pinot Noir is performance enhancing. We are infact assiduous in ensuring that our wine is only taken AFTER the race. Congratulations again.

(Note: there are those who insist, however that Two Paddocks can be performance enhancing in the worlds of poetry, philosophy, camaraderie and romance. In moderation.) We refrain from comment.

12 September 2007

Proprietor on the Road...Again

The Proprietor has left the office for some personal research into T.P. availability in London.

Results so far:
The Ivy: Has T.P. in stock but it is not on the winelist. You have to ask nicely, and wink at the same time; and if you do both a bottle will appear. Well worth the effort.

Providores: still out of stock ... make a fuss.

Haynes Hanson and Clark: In stock. Staff as charming as ever. Could even let you have a case if you charm them back! Please note:- THEY HAVE MOVED:

7 Elystan St
Chelsea S.W.3
0207 584 7927

Research continues…

4 September 2007

Porcine Passion

For David Attenborough enthusiasts we present a series of revealing photographs entitled “THE SECRET LIFE OF THE POTBELLY PIG”.

Here Boris and Peggy, two Otago-reared pot belly pigs (Porcis Gourmandieus), conduct the age-old rituals that their species enjoy in order to guarantee the survival of their kind. We thank Richard Flatman, wildlife photographer, for his candid and close-up work.

Here Boris, smooth lothario from next door, uses good old fashioned charm, and the odd well-worn pick up line on the winsome Peggy.
Boris’ charm is clearly working — Peggy, now very blonde and giggly — demonstrates both receptivity and affection. Boris knows he’s onto something here
Boris, no stranger to the World of Love, carefully checks that he was not chatting up the wrong end of his amour. Yes — no mistake there!
Boris scores! (Here we must draw a veil. The actual act of piggy coitus is not for the faint hearted, and we deplore graphic and disturbing images on the net).

1 September 2007

Compost Is Your Friend

Our thanks to Peter Hunt, photographer, for this snap of the Proprietor with a little of our much cherished COMPOST. This year our considerable tonnage (500 tonne!) was made to a recipe which includes tree trimmings, sheep poo, seaweed, grass mowing and much other goodness. Almost good enough to eat!

Certainly, good enough for our vines and our soil.

27 August 2007

Mark on the Road...Again

Bragato Conference debunks "food miles"

Mark has taken the Hawaiian shirts out of  mothballs again and made a dramatic and colourful appearance at this year’s Bragato Conference in Auckland. This year the main theme was “Treading Lightly – Our Sustainable Footprint”.

More information on this can be googled, but of great interest to all of us at H.Q. is the research that unequivocally denounces the spurious argument around “food miles” for products sold into the UK and E.U. In fact it seems most NZ produce is of a considerably lesser carbon footprint than those produced in the UK for example.

In the meantime, the Hawaiian shirts are back in storage.

15 August 2007

Goats Dance

Let the record state: both Bill the Goat and the Proprietor are BIG Will Ferrell fans. In fact this is the thing that bonds them more than anything.

Now that the thaw is on, both Goat and Proprietor have worked up a routine in tribute to the sublime “Blades of Glory” (they also like John Heder — Goat does an excellent Napoleon Dynamite imitation).

Photo shows routine in mid flight. Like “Blades”, this involves tremendous athleticism, gorgeous choreography, and much masculine head butting. Occasionally this leaves the Proprietor unconscious for extended periods – a minor inconvenience in the cause of art.

11 July 2007

Vintages Escape Paddocks

Mark announces today the balloon will go up August 1st for the release of our top tier First Paddock Pinot Noir 2006. This release, it has to be said, has been sneakily pre-empted by one or two insider Oenophiles, who have proclaimed it probably the greatest pinot we have produced to date.

Try for yourselves, but readers of this blog might be well advised to secure their own supply early because demand will almost certainly resemble a stampede à la Pamplona. Do not get trampled in the rush.

The other bottle pictured is our Two Paddocks Pinot Noir 2006. There are those among us who consider it marginally better than the First Paddock, but this is controversial. No blows or dustups to date although this is always possible. Release is early next year.

The third tier of course, is our legendary Picnic Pinot Noir 2006 (not pictured). The Proprietor and his friend Brian Brown (the thespian, not the sheep) got larruped on this in Arrowtown this week, to the satisfaction of all. Well, to the satisfaction of themselves — other patrons, family and restaurateurs alike — faintly appalled.

10 July 2007

Baby It's Cold Outside

Cold continues. Skiers happy. Some reports of Picnic being used as mulled wine (sacrilege, but we didn’t say so). All staff pruning. No casualties so far…

4 July 2007

Love in a Cold Climate

Peggy and Polly, our absurdly pretty pot bellied pigs, are eagerly awaiting the arrival of their boyfriend Boris. Yes, romance is in the air; it’s been a long cold winter without him; and spring is just around the corner (syrupy strings should be heard at this point). More to follow….

3 July 2007

Outbreak of Peace

Vineyards quieter than usual – The Proprietor is away letting all and sundry get on with things undisturbed. He is at present shooting three films concurrently – in the manner of Bollywood. Iron Road (China and Canada), How to Change in Nine Weeks (Australia), and Daybreakers (Australia). The latter is a vampire film, the cast of which (Ethan Hawke, Claudia Karvan, etc.) were spotted drinking Two Paddocks at the Gold Coast's finest restaurant — Fellini’s — last week. Red, naturally.

21 June 2007

Aliens Sighted at Two Paddocks

Oh come on! Surely, even after a bottle or two of our best, you didn’t believe that? Some people…honestly. Next thing you’ll be believing the old W.M.D. line.

No — cold weather at last — winter is with us. These photos are of ice and snow on our large dam. Rather beautiful, particularly if you’re sitting by a crackling fire.

30 May 2007

Mark in Prodigal Mode

Mark allowed out to San Francisco NZ Wine Growers Fair, but dress severely censored. T.P. however a grand success – insist on it at your favourite top S.F. establishment. Mark in black.

Mark to get savage dressing down from Proprietor on his return. From now on Mark will wear a SUIT overseas!

(Disclaimer: Mark swears that he did not wear, never has owned or been seen at a fancy dress party in a Hawaiian shirt – well, maybe once in Bali some time last century.)

16 May 2007

Further Mark Sighting

All at T.P. H.Q aghast and embarrassed! Mark seen again in Hawaiian shirt at Rufus Wainwright CD signing: the only punter in a coloured shirt in a sea of black. Telegrams have been sent – Mark sent for cultural adjustment to M.O.M.A.

We pray for enlightenment.

15 May 2007

Steamer Pioneers

Eco-friendly vapors

Richard has finally emerged from the darkroom with photos of our steamer trials, in the new Riesling block at Redbank.

In the interests of both our health and yours, as well as the future of the planet, the health of our soil, blah blah, we spurn the use of herbicides at Redbank, and for years now we have relied on the sweat of our brows, as well as the appetites of our sheep, to control weeds in the vineyard.

Now we have purchased and pioneered a steamer (which bears an uncanny resemblance to Stephenson’s Rocket), which kills or at least severely sets back the more competitive weeds.

Here Brian Croot puts this ugly but environmentally friendly beast through its paces – see results:

12 May 2007

SILENCE

No news from Mark.

9 May 2007

Mark in New York

Mark gives more Hawaiian shirts an airing at NZ Wine Growers Fair – T.P. there in New York along with 11 other leading Central Otago wine producers. Mark accompanied by the more soberly dressed Ian Davies – U.S. agent. Mark also spotted at Worldwide Wines – the luckiest wine distributors in the US – they have Two Paddocks. (photo – NYC Wine Fair)

7 May 2007

Quel catastrophe

Distressed call to the office from Helena Bonham-Carter (UK diva and bon vivant). Alas, a dinner at Providores recently, and no TP on the menu. quel horreur! Voices have been raised at H.Q. Heads will roll.

5 May 2007

Mark on the Run

Mark spotted on C.C.T.V in dubious neighbourhoods in Toronto – large Hawaiian shirt a dead giveaway.

Meetings with Ontario distributor, the charming Malcolm Cocks of Glen Ward Wines and the New World Wines division of the Liquor Control Board of Ontario. Successful meeting, and Mark more or less vertical entire time.

Also avoided the horizontal with local wine writer Michael Vaughan.
(Photo: Mark Field, left, with Michael Vaughan)

Result – Picnic Pinot Noir and Riesling available in L.C.B.O’s Vintages stores early in 2008 – join queues now – take sleeping bag – Canada can be coolish. Also expect Two Paddocks in the best Toronto Restaurants.

5 May 2007

Mark Escapes

Mark off to North America as Ambassador for Central Otago Pinot Noir, as well as flying the T.P. flag. Proprietor suspicious – large Hawaiian shirts and matching shorts spotted in Mark’s luggage.

3 May 2007

Sheep Catastrophe (Holiday Baahchinal)

A long story; here abbreviated.

The Proprietor was awoken from his (early) bed by unnamed irate neighbour this week. Accusations down the phone – two sheep, allegedly our beauteous South Suffolks, eating neighbour’s garden.

Curmudgeonly proprietor refuses to take action – outside dark and unpleasant. In the morning Proprietor VINDICATED – not only were they not his sheep, they were on the way to visit the Suffolks from another property. Here however the Proprietor FOOLED. These two manky looking sheep appeared to be under nourished and starved of company, so Proprietor turned a benevolent blind eye to their availing themselves of his pasture.

Here the big mistake – foolish Proprietor neglected to check their rear ends for two days, and finally having done so the awful truth emerged. They were RAMS. Scruffy, rough trade, ill-bred, sex starved rams. The implications are too awful to contemplate. The facts of sheep life include this – one ram (the most prolific male animal on earth) can cover up to 80 ewes in one day. Therefore 35 of our well bred girls present no problem for two rams on the loose and on the make.

Staff reluctant naturally to break the news to Mel Gibbston and Jimmy Baahns, our new rams, who are awaiting the girls to return from their annual holidays in Queenstown. The boys, sad to relate, are about as much use now as the spare proverbial at a cousin’s wedding.

Holidays are one thing – but this year it’s been more like Club Med in the Seventies. Free love may be all well and good, but times have changed, and it is not to be countenanced in the back paddock.

Proprietor APOPLECTIC!

On the left, Jimmy and Mel. On the right, manky Lotharios.

ANZAC Day 2007

2006 Vintage Looks Great!

Alright, so here’s the inside skinny on 2006: The Proprietor reported in Monday afternoon from Central Otago Wine Company whilst having a preview tasting of our 2006 pinots. Not much intelligible on the phone, but “spectacular” and “outstanding” were two words we recognized in an otherwise enthusiastic but rambling message.

This year (2006) we will present 3 tiers of superb Pinot

• First Paddock Pinot Noir -- single vineyard premium
• Neill Pinot Noir -- premium blend Pinot
• Picnic Pinot Noir -- our affordable Pinot

No sign of Proprietor yet… three days on… probably still tasting. But safe to say, 2006 is a red letter year!

24 April 2007

News from the Sheep Paddock

This hot from T.P Sheep Division (C.E.O. Brian Croot Esq.)

Jack Thomson (no relation), ram of undisclosed address has been rejected by T.P Quality Control and has been replaced by up-and-comer Jimmy Baahns (no relation). Jimmy and Mel Gibbston will be loving up the girls soon; their woolly hearts are aflutter already. Expect the pitter-patter of little hooves next spring.

---

Mention should be made of Clyde’s, and our own, rugby No. 8 Mike Wing who played a great game against Wakatipu (win 24:12) despite 10 minutes in the sinbin for flattening his opposite number right in the front of the Ref! If we’ve told him once, we’ve told him…

23 April 2007

Harvest Begins

Here at Two Paddocks Headquarters we are adamantly and fiercely opposed to child labour anywhere. Except when it comes to our own children. Second generation T.P offspring are hard at work this year as we bring in the grapes.

Unfortunately the law requires they be paid!

Harvest 2007

Harvest News

First the good news:

(Sit down now; we know how overexcited T.P fans can get.) Our Riesling and especially Pinot grapes from all three vineyards are from very good to excellent quality this year, particularly clones 777, 10/5, 115 and 5.

Next the bad news:

(Sit down again; we know you’re up and jumping around.) Our quantities are down again. Small bunches ( 60 – 70 grams) and some losses due to frost at Redbank.

Collective sigh!

20 April 2007

Carbon Credits

And you thought cows were a problem

Mindful as always about environmental concerns, this month we’ve planted perhaps 200 native trees and shrubs at Redbank. Our dog Fire seems unconcerned about global warming; indeed she seems to enjoy it.

However we have planted on her behalf – she has been (lets put this as delicately as we can) passing rather a lot of wind lately, so this year five of those trees are carbon credits for her. This is not the first time we’ve planted on her behalf – shamefully she’s been melting ice for years. And ponging out the Proprietor’s car.

19 April 2007

Recognition from Kirsten Dunst

Kirsten Dunst at Spiderman III premiere on TV3 last night:

“The reason I want to go to New Zealand is to visit Sam Neill’s vineyard!”

Proprietor, management and staff standing by…

17 April 2007

Saffron Time Again

Noriko Watanabe,
CEO – Lavender and Saffron Divisions, has been painstakingly removing stamens from the crocuses, and doing a cracker job with it. Sore back though…

10 April 2007

Manager's Cottage Under Construction

At Redbank, manager's cottage building proceeds apace courtesy of Breens (builders to the stars) and the super talented Max Wilde (architect to the stars). Roof on, and floor slab poured. Richard and Sherree bating collective breath. Watch this space…

8 April 2007

Clyde Fest Success

Two Paddocks represented again at Clyde Wine and Food Festival. Sales rocketed after Elena and Gwen manned the stand; Management puzzled… Mark, in charge of stand, vaguely miffed…

7 April 2007

Wine and Women

Over Easter, with friends from abroad we invented a new game over lunch: Match the wine to the woman (or man if you insist) one admires.

Play as follows: someone asks e.g. “Helen Mirren is a ….?” Players yell out their answers, e.g. Puligny Montrachet Grand Cru!” Winner by popular acclaim.

 Thus some of the list that emerged over lunch:

• Kristin Scott-Thomas -- a dry Riesling
• Judy Dench -- Amontillado sherry
• Cate Blanchett -- vintage Champagne
• Meryl Streep -- Chateau Latour

And so on.

Nominations for a great Pinot Noir included (drum roll here!)

• Helena Bonham-Carter
• Audrey Tautou
• Emanuelle Beart

Try this at home. Send in your nominations.

2 April 2007

Hog Heaven

Fans of our two potbellied pigs (see them as cute piglets, 13 November 2005) will be either amazed or appalled (depending on your views about size) at the weight packed on by Peggy and Polly in the last 18 months.

Richard has been trying his best to provide a good shot, but finds his Nikon has no lens wide enough to encompass both girls. Mark on the job...

2 April 2007

Pets and Owners

Here at H.Q. we have long subscribed to the theory that owners come to look like their pets, and pets resemble their owners. As further proof, if any were needed, we present Polly who has transformed from a previously somewhat cute piglet into a large animal remarkably similar to the Proprietor!

2 April 2007

Great Food and Wine in L.A.

Happy smoke signals from Proprietor in Los Angeles. Last week he shared a bottle of Last Chance 2004 at Los Angeles best (and Proprietor’s favourite) restaurant Matsuhisa (original and still top establishment of the great Nobu). Nobu apparently great fan of T.P. Ah…mutual admiration - makes you feel good all over!

By the by, bottle shared with Alessandro Nivola, thespian and pal of Proprietor; top actor and topish soccer player.

2 April 2007

Back at Work

Proprietor back at work having been gonged by Governor General on March 29 – see photo in Articles -- 30 March 2007 – more bling on Proprietor than on P.Diddy at his most baroque. Also note: with Proprietor is All Black über-legend Brian Lochore; both Proprietor and Sir Brian look as if they’ve just enjoyed a glass of wine or three. Or as Brian says “a couple of quiet ones.”
 Sir Brian is one of the keys to this year's All Black campaign for World Cup glory. We will be there in max black! Go the All Blacks!

March 12, 2007

Fading Star

Management would like to confirm the rumours – yes, its true: Brian Brown, our long serving South Suffolk ram has gone. His fan base, (admittedly, fast dwindling) will be distressed to learn, that not only has he been sold, but that all the old boy was worth was $NZ100. A paltry sum indeed for a chap who’d sired generations of black faced lambs at Redbank. Apparently, however he left with his head held high, and his dignity reasonably intact. The ewes reportedly turned away, unable to watch Brian riding off to the horizon.

Still he can take comfort in the following – firstly, he will have a modest harem of 6 ewes at his new property, and secondly his duties here have been taken over by no less than two pretenders doing a job that Brian could easily handle himself. Yes, two young rams arrive next week, and apparently raring to go; Jack Thomson (no relation, different spelling) and Mel Gibbston (no relation, different spelling). Two stars obviously on the rise in our paddocks.

Time will tell, but our pick is that Mel could well be Action Ram, while Jack looks more of the ladies man sort of sheep.

-----------------------------------------------

While we’re on the subject of life on the farm – one of our rare breed chooks has four black chicks at her feet as of last week. Big Boy looking pleased with himself. Mind you, its not all lavender and roses in the outback here – and there have been two recorded attempts on their lives by a passing hawk. So far so good – if free range teaches you nothing else, you do learn (if you’re a chicken) to make a lot of noise and to run like hell!

12 March 2007

To the Newly Weds!

Andrew and Becca, Grahame and Heidi

Staff finally finished clearing up (3 months later) after the first and only wedding on the premises – Andrew and Becca!

A rip-snorter knees-up, where even the karaoke was a success. We wish our favourite newly weds a long and happy life together.

Also noted from this weekend our friend Grahame Sydney (artist of sorts) married the lissome and lovely Heidi McLeod. This, against all the odds, should give hope to the lame and the halt anywhere. Cheers!

10 March 2007

Best Films, etc.

As heard in the TP breakroom

At this time of year our TP tearoom, smoko room, slacker’s corner, call it what you will – is abuzz with Best Film gossip etc. When it comes to best actor, the Proprietor’s name is never mentioned. But for the record – here are some of the bits and pieces we loved last year:

• Little Miss Sunshine
• Cate Blanchett and Judi Dench in “Notes on a Scandal”
• Clive Merrison in “The History Boys”
• Suburban Mayhem
• Sione’s Wedding
• No. 2
• Alec Baldwin
• Kirsten Dunst in “Maire Antoinette”
• “Wah –Wah” (Richard E. – you hero)
• Toni Collette in anything

And many more. (For those few who insist on watching the Proprietor in things, watch
The Tudors on Showtime from April 1st. Everyone else is terrific.)

9 March 2007

Stairway to Heaven

And it's environmentally friendly

Many TP followers will be unfamiliar with our grandest building – The Two Paddocks Self-Composting Longdrop De-luxe. While we have more modern facilities available, staff and friends alike enjoy doing their bit here for the environment. Their relief on their return to earth is palpable.

The flight of stairs to this heavenly abode comes appropriately, from the old airport in Alexandra, and was formerly used as access to various passenger planes in the old N.A.C. days. The kind of thing Katherine Hepburn might have graced in more elegant times.
(Cue Led Zeppelin…)

26 February 2007

Dog Eats Car: The Saga Continues

(See story beginning January 6)

Dog now looking meaningfully at goat. Clearly a craven and unprincipled attempt at shifting blame to an innocent bystander. Normally Goat would be the first in the frame, but in this case management is not fooled. We have witnesses!

24 February 2007

TP Top Drop with Bic Runga

Staff heartened by news (we rely on carrier pigeon mostly) that Bic Runga talented and outrageously beautiful NZ chanteuse says TP is her favourite. Natch!

23 February 2007

2005 Vintage Set for Autumn Release

Mark and Dean have set March 1st as our official kick off for Two Paddocks Pinot Noir 2005. In an unusually low yielding year for already low yielding vines, our output has been somewhat modest for 2005. According we have blended the best of all 3 vineyards into our Pinot this year.

We are confident you’ll love it.

21 February 2007

Two Paddocks in the States

Total Beverage Solution is new distributor

More good news from the energetic almost messianic, export division at TP. After a calamitous TP drought in the US (following the mysterious demise of our previous collaborators, Pacific Vine International), a drought that lasted two years (Good God! That’s a long time before drinks). Our new distributors, Total Beverage Solution, received the first shipment on 9 January 2007. All sold out by February 1st. Much consternation, even panic, among those who missed out. Mark, however mindful of his responsibilities and full of sheer old-fashioned compassion is sending relief supplies. Look for DC 3’s and parachutes overhead early spring.

19 February 2007

Dog Eats Car: Still in Doghouse

(See story beginning January 6)

Insurance company sceptical about our version of events.

Dog saying nothing.

15 February 2007

Two Paddocks Wearing Green

Did we mention that Two Paddocks now available in Ireland? A sure indicator, if ever there was, that the Celtic Tiger has become a success. On sale now Two Paddocks Pinot Noir 2005 and Picnic Sauvignon Blanc 2006. At the nation’s best tables only.

Our distributors are the erudite Woods Brothers of Dublin. Call them and insist on your favourite – TP of course! If they’re out of stock:

• Lose your grip for a moment.
• On recovery, demand an explanation.
• Let us know.
• By way of compensation, ask for a joke or two down the phone, or at the very least a penetrating insight into Joyce and/or Beckett.

That should fix it….

7 February 2007

Company Dog (Car Eater) Still in Doghouse

(See story beginning January 6)

Actually that’s a fib. All at TP while trying to maintain a stern demeanour go soft when she does what she does best – look vulnerable and appealing. Dog pretends she’s never seen car before in her life, and far from doghouse she takes up most of the best sofa as always.

Still, she remains GUILTY.

29 January 2007

Proprietor Dispatched to Hong Kong

Assigned a Week of Multi-tasking (unlikely, but true)

L to R: Greg Melick, John Avery, Wayne Donaldson, Kingsley Liu, the Proprietor, Peter Lehmann

Task One: To launch Two Paddocks in this most exciting and glamorous of markets. Lovers of fine wine in South East Asia have been delirious at this long awaited development. By all accounts Proprietor less embarrassing than usual, and made no less than 6 speeches in 5 days. For those who need to know (all and sundry) our distributors in Hong Kong are the excellent Northeast Wines and Spirits helmed by the formidable and beautiful Lillian Haynes. Two Paddocks reportedly galloping off the shelves.

Task Two: In another unlikely development the Proprietor was asked to judge at the annual prestigious WINPAC (Pacific Rim Wine Festival). A minnow among whales, the Proprietor found himself in the distinguished company of the legendary John Avery and Greg Melick (chief judges), the redoubtable Sir Noel Power (founder) the splendid Peter Lehmann (a.k.a “The Baron of Barossa”, bon vivant, raconteur and top winemaker), Wayne Donaldson (top winemaker at Gallo Premium and wearer of bad shirts), local judges Burton, Robinson, Tan, Lee and Meiburg, plus organizers extraordinaire Bill Ahern and Susan Sanikow. Marvellous work and it’s possible the Proprietor learned something.

6 January 2007

Dog Eats Car

The company dog, Fire, is at risk of losing her position having eaten a fair bit of the proprietor’s car this day. Fire takes her responsibilities at the vineyard very seriously, i.e. rabbit control, and seemingly chased one into the engine of the boss’s Mini-Cooper S. Having bailed up the unfortunate bunny she then, with a strength and determination that belies her years, tore off a bumper, grill and other parts that we don’t know the names of. Now, while we appreciate that rabbits have absolutely no place in the production of fine wine, this is really going too far. Words have been spoken. Voices have been raised. The question also arises: Will the Insurance Co. believe any of this?

One possible explanation has been raised for this bizarre behaviour from a dog of otherwise sweet and agreeable disposition – we know Fire is an enthusiast for classic cars  (witness her obvious pleasure with the company’s 1947 Chevy Thriftmaster pick-up truck) It may just be that she prefers old minis to the new version.

Alternatively it may be a protest at this years New Year’s Honours. The Proprietor was awarded a rather big gong this year (D.C.N.Z.M. – look it up) and Fire may have felt this was undeserved. Along with one or two others. The Proprietor’s head got quite big for an hour or two, but he has returned to his normal sheepish appearance.

But back to the dog: we hasten to add that, contrary to some opinion in the yellow press, Staffordshire Bull Terriers are NOT a dangerous breed. And our dog is kind and affectionate with children and babies alike. However it would seem, perhaps, that they may pose some risk to fast cars.